Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference

Things have been going pretty well lately. I had some bumps in my life early in November. I felt like I was losing a friend–perhaps that friendship is lost. I made some plans and they all slipped through my fingers for one reason or another. It’s been about a month since then but I am still blaming myself for the events that happened–or the events that didn’t end up happening. I guess only time will tell before I learn whether or not the friendship stood the test of that amount of stress and I was worrying and beating myself up for nothing (really, I tend to do that) or if that friendship slipped through my fingers as well. Regardless, the words that were spoken I have taken seriously. As of late I have been finding all the reason in the world to go someplace else and I haven’t been trying nearly as much as I should be. After I returned to Kumamoto I decided to put a little more effort into my time here. I have been trying to hang out with more friends, but honestly I worry that perhaps I am not a person people really want to hang around with. I always feel like I’m the one doing the calling or the texting…

A friend of mine told me not to worry so much about the Japanese language. He tells me most of the people he knows who come here without any prior knowledge of it spend their first year trying to get used to the country and having random fun before they focus on studying and learning the language. He tells me not to beat myself up over not pushing myself more to learn it. Unfortunately I cannot help that. I want to learn more of the language but I don’t have as much motivation as I should. I become discouraged when I get stuck in a sentence or I am not being understood. But I am trying to branch out.

Today I made some new friends and I had a lot of fun. I met them through another friend of mine, the only difference is they do not know English so I am forced to speak and only use Japanese. There is no fall-back language. I hung out with them for about 4-5 hours or so and had a great time. Of course there were bumps in the road when it came to communication, but we were all very patient with one another. We laughed and had fun. I learned some more of the language (though I think it wasn’t committed to memory in terms of use later on… it was more committed to the part of my memory that recognizes it in conversation or when spoken). The friend who introduced us can speak English so when we were all together introducing ourselves I felt nervous to speak Japanese. But when it was just me and the two of them I opened up a little more. Either way, it’s a constant war with language with me.

I joined a kendo group. I have not much to say about it as I haven’t had a lesson yet, but I am looking forward to it. πŸ™‚

Later this month my boyfriend will come to Japan. I am excited about that but I don’t know what I am going to show him. A lot of people have requested to meet him which may create some fun in terms of language barriers.


One comment on “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference

  1. Moving to a new place with no one you really know there is always a challenge. Being a little social can help focus you on the things that you need to do. Have fun with friends, and meet new people. Tour shops and local places. If you are learning more about Japanese, going out and about will help you hear more of the language. I always seem to get more stuff done when I have to be more outgoing and have more tasks to do. It’s when I don’t have much to do, or that I don’t go to many places, that I procrastinate the most. Balance being social and a bit of work and things will work out.

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